Well this is kind of a long-ish story so sit back.
When I was around 8 I realised I liked girls in the same way I thought I liked boys. I thought they were beautiful. But pretty much as soon as I realised I completely shut that down, because I knew being a lesbian wasn’t a good thing based on comments from family and society at large. It took me another 7 years to even allow myself to consider that I might be attracted to the same gender again, and within that time I was incredibly biphobic and homophobic because I’d internalised a lot of self-hatred and general societal attitudes towards non-cishets.
At 15 I cautiously adopted the label ‘bicurious’, and at 16 I came out to myself as bisexual after a brief fling with the pansexual label, which just didn’t fit. I’ve always had a very strong preference for women though, which is something I’ve rejected for a long time because I thought it made me a ‘bad bi’.
(Now you probably won’t have had the same experience as me, but this is just how I came to my current understanding of my sexuality. A lot of people identify as hetero for decades and then change their minds or realise they weren’t, and that’s 100% okay too.)
It wasn’t until a few days ago though that I realised I wasn’t attracted to men in the same way I’m attracted to any other gender or lack thereof. I can recognise men I think are good looking, but I don’t want to be romantic or sexual with them, and imagining it is either very very difficult or just makes me feel nervous and uncomfortable. Heteronormativity is so insidious and pervasive that I didn’t recognise how different my feelings for men were, until I had a number of negative experiences with them that made me question it. I’m really upset that my internalised lesbophobia and heterosexism kept me from realising this for almost 4 years, but what can you do?
The only advice I can give is to imagine yourself in relationships with various people or various genders. Imagine your dream wedding, or imagine waking up one morning when you’re 40 and getting ready for work with your partner. Analyse how you feel when that person’s gender changes in each scenario. Also remember that your feelings about various genders are almost certainly not static. You might just like men now, and you might not, and that might change in the future for a multitude of reasons (all of which are valid!).
In any case, the bi community is completely here for you, and you’re welcome here. You don’t need to meet any criteria to identify a certain way: just think on it and let yourself identify however you feel most comfortable.
Best of luck, and I hope this helped even vaguely!!