motherhenna:

So, I’ve been getting a lot of asks over the last few months asking why I strongly dislike TFIOS by John Green as much as I do. And for the most part, all the recent askers have been surprisingly polite, considering the more aggressive ones I’ve received in the past on the subject. Anyway, I’ve answered a bunch of them separately, but I’ve decided to condense all of my theories, opinions and arguments into one succinct post.

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"When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty."
— Stevie Nicks  (via youhauntyourbagofbones)

(Source: bmurguia)

mttyshealy:

LETS PLAY THE “TYPE THESE WORDS IN YOU R TAG BOX AND POST THE FIRST AUTOMATIC TAG THAT COMES UP” GAME: DIRTY WORD ADDITION OK

  • fuck
  • shit
  • dick
  • no
  • hell
  • sex
  • damn

qorners:

Qorsets and Qicks

sadgirlpictureblog:

emiello:

cisphobeofficial:

cisphobeofficial:

vermilionsand:

sadgirlpictureblog:

I’m attracted to men idk what y’all want me to do about it. that doesn’t make me any less of a radical feminist. I refuse to buy into that “all piv is rape” bs. this whole issue feels like the homosexual version of corrective…

op was straight, apparently, so i wasn’t actually right on this one

In that case op is entirely damn gross,

op is me and op is bisexual holy shit ask next time

In that case sorry - I assumed cisphobeofficial had.

Yr corrective rape comparison was still completely gross and uncalled for, but so is sapphobia and labelling bi people ‘dick worshippers’ and ‘bihets’ and ‘bisluts’, so basically everything is terrible.

pinthetailonthehonky:

♪ it aint no lie that im bi bi bi 

Anonymous Asked
Questionwait what did cesar milan do wrong? i remember watching him a lot as a kid, he seemed like a nice guy, maybe he did something bad i didnt catch? Answer

fighting-for-animals:

foxinu:

gooddogbestfriend:

oh god where to start

it’s a long topic because CM is VERY charismatic and /seems/ like a cool dude…but he’s really awful, like seriously seriously awful.

I was brainwashed by his philosophy at one point. It’s still a struggle sometimes to unwrite the impulse to “correct” a dog, but I’ve seen first-hand the damage it can do and I know that science based training is more humane, more effective, and faster.

This is my “why CM is awful” tag (and I just realized I’ve been spelling his last name wrong, whoops?), so there’s a lot of stuff in there. I’ll pull the most applicable posts and link them here.

Long post on how CM’s methods aren’t up to date

Video compilation of CM kicking dogs

Watching videos of him with the sound off can help you see how horrible he really is to the dogs. Watch a clicker trainer with the sound off and you can often still tell when the clicker starts clicking because the dog (or horse or bird or mouse or fish or…) immediately responds and engages in a happy, excited way.

His methods lead to aggression from the dog:

The highest frequency of aggression occurred in response to aversive (or punishing) interventions, even when the intervention was indirect:

• Hitting or kicking the dog (41% of owners reported aggression)
• Growling at the dog (41%)
• Forcing the dog to release an item from its mouth (38%)
• “Alpha roll” (forcing the dog onto its back and holding it down) (31%)
• “Dominance down” (forcing the dog onto its side) (29%)
• Grabbing the jowls or scruff (26%)
• Staring the dog down (staring at the dog until it looks away) (30%)
• Spraying the dog with water pistol or spray bottle (20%)
• Yelling “no” (15%)
• Forced exposure (forcibly exposing the dog to a stimulus – such as tile floors, noise or people – that frightens the dog) (12%)

In contrast, non-aversive methods resulted in much lower frequency of aggressive responses:

• Training the dog to sit for everything it wants (only 2% of owners reported aggression)
• Rewarding the dog for eye contact (2%)
• Food exchange for an item in its mouth instead of forcing the item out (6%)
• Rewarding the dog for “watch me” (0%)

(source) (CM uses 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, a version of 9, and 10 extensively; I’ve never seen him use anything from the non-aversive methods shown here except one time when he threw carrots at a dog and called it positive reinforcement. Not threw them /to/ the dog, purposefully hit the dog with bits of carrot.)

another long post on his bs

His misogyny (in general he is always saying that women can’t be pack leaders because blah blah blah, but here are some specific examples):

Women are the worst offenders in his world. In one of the outtakes included in the four-DVD set of the first season of “Dog Whisperer,” Mr. Millan explains that a woman is “the only species that is wired different from the rest.” And a “woman always applies affection before discipline,” he says. “Man applies discipline then affection, so we’re more psychological than emotional. All animals follow dominant leaders; they don’t follow lovable leaders.”

(source) (By the way, that last bit about animals following dominant leaders instead of lovable leaders is BS - I’ll try to find the source, but there was a study done on feral dogs that found that dogs prefered to follow the “leaders” who had the most friends, not the “leaders” that were most confrontational, like CM’s dominance mess is. Think about it: who’s more popular, the friendly teacher who jokes around with the class, or the hard-ass who doesn’t even allow talking in the halls between classes? Who would you willingly follow?)

Another instance, from a touring show in Victoria, Canada:

…THEN he kicked off the second half after intermission by comparing dogs to women in third world countries. Not even kidding you. You see Lainey, dogs today have too much food and affection. They are fat and loved but they have no discipline and exercise and therefore are unhappy…. women in third world countries, well they have no food and no affection but plenty of discipline and exercise and they are unhappy too. You see? Dogs and women need food, love, discipline and exercise, all FOUR….just imagine if you tried to tell a woman to go to the gym… you have to TRICK them into doing it HAR HAR HAR… just like dogs. The arena went SILENT. This comparison carried on for about 5 minutes while he tried to dig himself out. It didn’t work and he has lost me and I HOPE any other woman in that arena at that point.

(source)

I’m here to answer any questions in specific, but in general:

-He promotes ABUSIVE, ineffective, DANGEROUS training
-He is sexist in a very bold, demeaning way
-He refuses to educate himself further in the field of dog training, though he now has the time and resources to do so

Thankfully it seems his fame is winding down; “The Dog Whisperer” is done, his show where families competed to win a rescue dog is done, and his new show where he was doing something with experienced dog trainers is dead before it even started.

If you want some examples of good dog trainers, I recommend checking out:

  • Nando Brown
  • Victoria Stilwell
  • Emily Larlham (Free YouTube videos under username “kikopup”)

The following trainers have wonderful, useful books:

  • Dr. Sophia Yin
  • Dr. Ian Dunbar
  • Susan Clothier (haven’t read them personally but they’re recommended by people whose opinions I trust and value)
  • Dr. Patricia McConnell
  • Jean Donaldson
  • Karen Pryor (I LOVE her book about clicker training.)

For specific issues:

  • Scaredy Dog! Ali Brown (fearful dogs)
  • Feisty Fido, Patricia McConnell (over-excitable dogs, reactive or “aggressive” dogs)
  • I’ll Be Home Soon, Patricia McConnell (separation anxiety)
  • Train Your Dog Like A Pro, Jean Donaldson (basic training)
  • Control Unleashed, Leslie McDevitt (next-level training)

I’ll round this out with my last little anecdote about Opal.

Opal is my family’s German Shepherd. When she was a puppy I was still half-in, half-out of my CM brainwash phase. She began getting nervous and excited around other dogs during her second fear period, and began to bark and lunge at them. Our trainer at the time fitted her with a prong collar and told us how to use it.

It didn’t work. It made her worse. And yet, for a couple years we continued to use it because how else were we supposed to handle this ferocious, out of control dog? My dad, who is both tall and heavy-set, had to sit and hold her around the chest because he couldn’t hold onto the leash when a dog walked by on the other side of the road. She pulled my sisters down and across our entire front yard and down the driveway to get at other dogs. Once when I was walking her, she lunged at a dog in a (luckily) fenced in yard, and the prong collar broke off of her (another reason they’re shit, besides the pain-causing design). That was the turning point for me. I managed to catch her again while she was fence-running with the yard dog, got her home, and researched other ways to stop her from pulling and lunging.

Thank goodness for Victoria Stilwell’s “It’s Me or the Dog.”

After a couple months of focused desensitization/counter-conditioning (making her feel good about other dogs through gradual, at-a-distance exposure coupled with good things happening when she sees other dogs, for the non-training-geek), she was loads better. (Harnesses are brilliant and awesome and I love them.) I was able to attend a dog training class and have her focus on me and learn. By the fourth hour-long session, she was lying on her side (not cued or forced by me!) while the trainer was explaining new exercises - which is big, because that is a very vulnerable pose for a dog and she was in a room with five other dogs, including two mini schnauzer sisters who would often start fights with each other during lessons.

I now can take her running on a popular trail, where we pass dozens of dogs on each trip. She will walk by them and barely turn her head if I give her the “on-by” cue (on a good day. On a bad day I stand between her and the dog and she looks at them as we pass. Still loads better than before!).

We went to the dog park after our run yesterday to get her some water before driving home. The only other occupant was a slightly fearful pointer mix, who wasn’t sure if she wanted to play with Opal or not. Opal, in a complete opposite fashion from when she was younger and we were CM groupies, gave big, obvious “I am not a threat” body language. She approached on a curve, she did lovely loose body language and floppy goofy tail wags, she did play bows when the pointer started to play with her, and when the pointer had had enough and went “BLAARRRARARARRRRGGH” Opal looked away, then calmly walked away. (The pointer did not have the same clear body language as Opal. This happens often with punished dogs - they’re told “No, you can’t growl, no you can’t lunge, no you can’t say “I’m scared” so they bottle up their emotions until it’s all too much and it explodes.)

After that, the pointer started playing with Opal again, chasing Opal as Opal chased a frisbee. Pointer didn’t want Opal to engage with her, so Opal and I played fetch and pointer just ran after Opal wherever she went. It was sad to see the pointer acting as Opal had years ago, but such a contrast between the two was a striking illustration of just how far Opal’s come along once I understood her and started working with her rather than against.

Beyond Cesar Millan is a fantastic resource for anyone looking for more information about this “trainer”, the truth about his methods based on scientific evidence, and examples of why his training methods are downright dangerous.

bless u for making this

i hate that man but sadly everyone seems to love him and look past all his violent and backwards-minded theories and ‘dog behaviour understandingz’

blackmanonthemoon:

We don’t discus enough how pathological it is to follow someone you don’t like and berate, judge and harass them. IDC how much of your life you discuss on here it is not justifiable for abuse

  • Biggest lie told in schools: Bullying will not be tolerated.
mayakern:

seasonal fashion according to me
god i hate summer mayakern:

seasonal fashion according to me
god i hate summer mayakern:

seasonal fashion according to me
god i hate summer mayakern:

seasonal fashion according to me
god i hate summer

mayakern:

seasonal fashion according to me

god i hate summer

cisphobeofficial:

cisphobeofficial:

vermilionsand:

sadgirlpictureblog:

I’m attracted to men idk what y’all want me to do about it. that doesn’t make me any less of a radical feminist. I refuse to buy into that “all piv is rape” bs. this whole issue feels like the homosexual version of corrective…

op was straight, apparently, so i wasn’t actually right on this one

In that case op is entirely damn gross,

I’m trying to get Awesome Mod and Twallan’s/nraas Story Progression and Master controller for Sims 3, but I’m having issues.

  1. Awesome Mod isn’t available from the original source. I get a 404.
  2. I’ve no clue how to install nraas mods, but I’m working on it.
  3. Does anyone have advice/links/other mods they use with their sims 3?

metalgender:

emmadisapproves:

fuck though like piper/alex is a prime fucking example of a bisexual woman being abused by her lesbian partner because do not fucking come at me and tell me alex does not use piper’s bisexuality against her.

(Source: lagerthasiggy)

"

When researchers at the University of Toronto and the University of Washington observed young people’s behavior in bars, they found that the man’s aggressiveness didn’t match his level of intoxication. There was no relationship.

Instead, men targeted women who were intoxicated.

"

kenobi-wan-obi:

the people who downplay the internet’s positive impact on the way we interact and get the word out tend to be the same ones that prefer shit to stay the same.